ooh.. Finally.. It’s been very long time since the last time I wrote here, maybe about a year ago . My new activity really gets me tuned only on it. Yes, I’ve been so busy taking care and playing with my baby, Shofiyyah, and also the big baby; her daddy -_-‘
Actually, nothing special to be shared, but I feel like I want to relieve something in my head… I think writing would be good and this blog would be the best secret place where I can hide myself but still safe enough to say anything, uhmm I mean; scrathing things inside my head. Just like what I have named this blog.
It’s now 1:53 am, my baby and husband have already fallen so tighly in their dreams. Just 2 hours ago, I still accompanied Shofi playing. Seriously, she might be one of the longest-lasting-charged baby >.< She usually falls asleep at about 12 am..where other babies sleep at 7 or 8 pm. Oh my, sometimes it puts me into a battle that I must not sleep no matter how sleepy I am, just to make sure she plays safe. This is what we call a mother’s sacrifice maybe, it’s only one of many of them. And I suddenly remembered my mother at glance. Surely, never treat our mother bad.
After Shofi falling asleep, then I have my world. I shall sleep too.. but if only I still feel sleepy. But, now, I am not 😦 Though I realize so many things I have to carry on in the early morning tomorrow. And usually in the midday, I won’t have time to take a nap due to many stuffs to do, of course beside keeping and taking care of Shofi. I know, tomorrow would be a hard day of feeling sleepy T_T
Then, I am stucked in front of this laptop. I don’t know what to do, just have a slight browsing, anything. I still feel the feeling that I have been in it so long time ago. Then it hits me like something I can’t describe, although I am now trying to. I know, i miss all my friends so bad. I look up the photos, or view them on fb, or reading their blogs, or just remember over the sweet memories ever happened. Some of them are really close to my heart. I wonder how fast the time runs. We used to be so young, close, bestfriend…errrgh..very joyful. But now, to be honest, it has started to fade away, eventhough it never vanished. I still feel it, and I miss it. But, unreachable. We are living different life now, different place, different way, and new friends are coming in. Then the old memories would be a bit forgotten, starting to be less and less, no matter how amazing it was when we were there. Always be like that, every stage of our lives. Stage of a baby, toddler, kid, teenager…a high school student, a college student, a worker.. And later as a parent. I am now already in that stage. And something I always think about and can’t find the answer is that we can’t even remember the feeling of how our mother or father fed us with affection when we were child, or when they hugged us. The only reason I think it’s nearly to it is that because of the time. Time and separation are killing memories. Hopefully, I will still feel every single beautiful moment of my life, to keep it alive in me. And otherwise, kill every bad memories that always bother my life.
Anyway, I miss you…